Cry All The Time

She would cry

Cry cry

All the time

Because you left her with 2 kids

And left me with just my mind

I would see the tears fall from her eyes all the time

Because she had a fatherless son and daughter to raise

Because you couldnt find the time so she raged

She would cry

cry cry

All the time

Because you broke her heart in two and she would see the pain transmute into her daughter too

She would cry

Cry cry

All the time

Because everything she asked from you

You gave to another woman who never had to grow your seeds

And that alone just made her heart bleed

I would cry

Cry cry all the time

Because i grew up feeling abandoned by the figure who was never supposed to leave me stranded, supposed to never leave my side

So i would cry

Cry cry all the time

Because i got a taste of what it would have been like to have you around

And you snatched that away

And you let me down

I would cry

Cry cry all the time

Because i had low self esteem because when you left her it felt like you left me

@nocturnalxo

Vulnerable

I stay vulnerable

And its noticeable

I Wear my heart on my sleeve

Have my laundry in the streets

Dirty it seems

Give it up for peace

Since it seems to decrease

The never ending shame that used to eat me

So here i am

Transparent as ever and

I wouldnt want it any other way

Because this is my spirit

It came to lift weights

@nocturnalxo

Sometimes

Sometimes

Sometimes i wish you never put hands on me

Sometimes i wish we were really meant to be

Sometimes i wish things went another way

Instead of the way it led us to today

Sometimes i dont care and im fine

Other times the PTSD blows my mind

Sometimes im good and i feel free

Other times i feel locked in the chamber of my reality

Sometimes i hate you and i know thats how its supposed to be

But the hate eats me alive its a never ending cycle of grief

Sometimes i want to betray myself and go back

Until i snap out of the desperation that i have packed

Most times i dont think about you

Most times i know that you were just another fool

Most times i know that its self harm to think about a time when you and me were warm

@nocturnalxo

From Time

I dont know why it weighs on me heavy

Time has passed but i still feel so sweaty

When i think about you

When i think about us

I dont know about you

But i wish there was still an “us”

Deep down

Reconciliation passes through my mind like a halt at a bus stop

i know that our chapter is locked and sealed

Thrown In the past and covered with dirt and grass

But how come when i think of you my heart starts to peel

The core starts to shine

Are you sure you dont think of me from time to time?

If not then fine

I get it i cant be the one with every guy

But you

You left your mark

As the years past i dont think ill ever forget the spark

I want to let this go badly

But my heart says to look back ever so fondly

Its not healthy

So im ending this toxic fantasy

And with doing that

Hopefully i step back into reality

-nocturnalxo

Incognito

‪What looked so sweet at first glace ‬
‪Tasted so sour after time passed ‬
‪I guess thats why you shouldnt judge a book by its cover Deceived by the green appearance of her ‬
‪The tears that formed left me warned ‬
‪To not take another bite ‬
‪Expecting something sweet ‬
‪But something bitter ended up as the surprise. ‬-nocturnalxo

Birds

Birds start chirping

A tune that fits the flow of the earth turning

A tune so angelic the angels are yearning

To hear it every time they’re around

The birds are chirping

A tune that fits a nice summer breeze

A tune that fits the picture of ease

To hear it whenever we’re around trees

The birds are singing

A song made by divine healing

A song that only can be given

To creatures who use their wings and fly

@nocturnalxo

Pink Cloudz

Poetic rhymes to pass the time

Passion flows as the record beholds

Symphonies that speak to me

My inspiration singing through

The muse to it all is you

Pink clouds

Share a picture about

Love

The one we all desire

The one that takes us higher

The image of you painted in the sky

A kind of image only God can create this fine

And still i stare

Still i continue to breathe the blessed air

Of hope and prosperity

Its all beautiful

Its all what it’s meant to be

@nocturnalxo

Sky

Sky is hypnotic

The dreams felt erotic

Took a sip of that tonic

Now im floating in the ocean

Sky is so blue

Still i look back and all i think about is you

Your figure in the clouds

This obsession is wearing me out

Abstract dreams

Believe in the realm of fantasies

The sky paints a pretty picture

Of life after death and thats when ill be witcha

@nocturnalxo

Tupac Amaru Shakur

Since a child i’ve looked up to you

your essence of charisma is what made me fall in love too

Although taboo and a little out of the ordinary

Your songs would help guide me, it is still something very extraordinary

Your words would show me to much wisdom at such a young age

You inspired me to be more than just one page

You was a deep complex dude

I could relate so much to you

Just a kind of vibe only you can provide

And i feel your heart because it feels just like mine

Although i wish you could be here

i understand that this place caused you way too many tears

So i say hello from the other side

I know you with afeni going on your joyride

To thugz mansion the place that you reside

doing your job as an angel

Just know every time i pray i say your name

Because you helped mold me

And forever in the highest regards

Thats how i will hold thee

@nocturnalxo

Shallow

When the pool of water doesn’t reach certain depths

We aren’t able to get deep it works like that in life

Shallow streams that play make believe

Illusions of depth makes you drown in dreams

Wave after wave

Graves that we’ve paved

Conclaves that just sway

In the deepest part of the ocean

Where my darkness is buried with my emotions

where the truth is always spoken

And the motion of the ocean leaves no commotion

@nocturnalxo

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