Message to my followers!

Hi! Its me nocturnalxo and im going to let you guys know that this website isnt staying up forever. I plan to close it around December after a year is up. I plan on writing a book that includes poetry and fiction one day hopefully soon! So to keep up with my writings i think you guys should follow me on instagram @nocturnalxo And if you want to contact me my personal email is kcabral91@gmail.com

Thanks for tuning in , its been fun but i have too much talent to keep it on a blog forever! Hope you guys understand ❤

@nocturnalxo

Tupac Amaru Shakur

Since a child i’ve looked up to you

your essence of charisma is what made me fall in love too

Although taboo and a little out of the ordinary

Your songs would help guide me, it is still something very extraordinary

Your words would show me to much wisdom at such a young age

You inspired me to be more than just one page

You was a deep complex dude

I could relate so much to you

Just a kind of vibe only you can provide

And i feel your heart because it feels just like mine

Although i wish you could be here

i understand that this place caused you way too many tears

So i say hello from the other side

I know you with afeni going on your joyride

To thugz mansion the place that you reside

doing your job as an angel

Just know every time i pray i say your name

Because you helped mold me

And forever in the highest regards

Thats how i will hold thee

@nocturnalxo

ScapeGOAT

Don’t worry about me

Worry about you

I been sleeping good but its the guilt that left me shook

As if i influenced everyone around me

I doubt it so don’t you dare doubt me

As if I’m the evil…

As if I’m the person who been primeval..?

As if i havent been on a mission of retrieval.

I guess nobody knows unless you change the tone,

And open that mouth to let it be known what you told

But im not the type to ask for credit

And maybe thats where im wrong because people do forget it

Not only that but people rewrite history in their own minds

Im not a perfect human i been there back in time

And if we didn’t have textbooks who would be able to tell this fake time?

But the truth is its all in my head

And i suffer from certain things that are better left unsaid

They told me im an open book

I said if you only knew everything that it took,

it truly would leave you shook.

They told me i belong in a hospital

I told then these tears taste sweet as sweet as the sunday gospel

They told me id never make it

Well i still aint there yet but Lord knows i aint shaken

They told me im too weird

I told them take this free homily and soon after they appeared

@nocturnalxo

Mirror

Sometimes the reflection can be painful

Sometimes we take things on because we are made to

Sometimes peace of mind is all we need

To know that things will be fine in the in between

Sometimes we react off instinct

Sometimes our dreams do die because we arent listening

Sometimes it hurts to look

But not this time because I’m giving it all it took

Most times the wrong people cling

To the message and hold on to it with bling

To talk is to walk

If i don’t walk the walk how can I talk the talk

If I don’t see the problem

How can I be the solution

I guess that’s the beauty of mystery

Mystery because we are all bruising

To smile through the pain and endure the rain

Means to keep the mirror feeling sane

To meditate not medicate might be my generations biggest struggle

If i gotta be the poster child just know they will end up

charging me with double

But im a soldier i was made from the rubble

Yet my heart beats fast so i gotta slow it down or else im stubble

@nocturnalxo

Poetry Is For

Poetry is for the unexpressed souls

Poetry is for the creatives that need the juice to flow

Poetry is for the hearts that need healing

Poetry is for the minds to decipher the meaning

Poetry is for love and heart

Mind and street smarts

Poetry is for the soul like fertilizer for the creative planting hole

Like the sun that washes away all of the rainy tears we experience in multiple ways

Or the moon that illuminates the dark we fear

Poetry is for the song that must be sung

Or the heart that needs the alarm to be rung

For different perspectives on life

Poetry is for you and I and all peoples of every walk of life

Whether we create it as our mission

Or we read it just so our spirit can listen

Whether we spit it so the ground can tremble

Or we hear it so the chills can continue through our vessels

It’s an art that requires soul

An art that requires empathy to unfold

It’s not about the rhyme scheme

Or the similes, metaphors or double entendres 

And although all that adds to the beauty

It’s the message and how it’s delivered

That makes others shiver

So next time you hear it or read it maybe even write it or deal it

Just realize the power of words

Others will try to belittle it

But the power of being heard

Is a power we all desire

We have it in our hands, our hearts and mind’s eye

so be sure to thank your higher power 

⁃ @nocturnal

Let Me Be Your Favorite Nightmare

Love

It came so easily

But was it love or just lust that I accepted

Which was the frequency?

Never mind that because although the love you gave did end up pleasing me

Still

Something was missing, my usual carefree spirit was wheezing for air

As if you sucked it all out of me and left me without a care

As if I give and give and give

And I live to forgive then relive

But to see your highs while I stay low

A leech you are

Protected by your costume of snow

In the moment it’s bliss

When I look back I reminisce

On how I missed out on an equal give and take

Choosing someone who I knew would end up giving me heartache

All for something that felt good but when I wake up I see it was all fake

I see past the desire of feeling love

It’s all about you, it always was

The most beautiful boogeyman

Stuck on your looks and I really should have looked passed that

You were my favorite nightmare but for what?

It’s just a fact that it was all For a quick fuck and a trip to the land of unseen

I’ll tell you what

Tonight, I’ll see you again in my dreams

@nocturnalxo

Speed Law

J wants to die she’s working on dying before her time

What can you do

She takes those pills it’s fucking with more than just her mind

What can you say

Has so much potential but wastes it on cheap thrills

Doesn’t see too far ahead she’s stuck on the mundane wheel

When everyone sees her, they see a star in the making

But the way she’s followed the trend makes them feel like they’re sadly mistaken

J just wants to fill an empty hole that her reality isn’t giving

J isn’t a bad person she’s just fallen victim to the hood life she’s been living

Once j wakes up and realizes health is wealth

Once j wakes up and realizes drugs and substance won’t bring you strength

Once she sees it’s all in the books that she reads and the knowledge that will help her live her vivid dreams

Once she sees there’s more to life than fast cars and the newest EP

Once she sees that the family and friends around her are blessings amongst other things

Once she starts smelling the roses and learns this lesson

The manifestation will start rolling, and there won’t be so much stressing

But who am I to speak?

I’m just an observer watching my friend slowly bring on an early peak

It hurts to see but addressing it is hard because it’s depressing to hear about all of her scars

Knowing all I can do is listen

Can’t make any actions for her that’s her own mission

Nobody’s perfect I would never judge her for giving in to the unhealthy frisson

I just wish one day she complies and sees the real vision

I pray she gets out of that mental prison and all the self sins she made on herself she’s able to look at herself and be forgiven

Nobody’s perfect! I’m not a saint

And the way it’s easy to be a victim to substance abuse should make us all say …

”Hold up, wait.”

The youth must wake up and realize the war on drugs is personal

It’s not the same as it was back then It’s actually way less merciful

In the fact that it’s gotten stronger chemicals in it that will make your high last longer

It’s not innocent and if you’re not grounded

It’ll leave you in false imprisonments

In your mind

So never depend

Never look at it as a friend.

Never think that it’s a problem solver

Because next time you look, you’re playing Russian roulette  with a gun revolver

⁃ @nocturalxo

The Alchemy of Pain

Growing up without a father left me feeling empty

Searching for things that would fill the void it left me

Searching for things that didn’t accurately align with my purpose

Things that set me back I wonder if it was all on purpose

If I was meant to have to learn from all these lessons

The stress this life gave me also came with many blessings

But when I look back i try to find exactly what made me

The trauma did it made me stronger

Strong to fight with bravery

Strong to fight so nothing on this earth can genuinely phase me

and when I look back, I used to want to be so perfect

Not knowing that the trauma made me grow so I can thirst this

thirst for a purpose that would make me feel so free,

desire for all of the knowledge I could gain in these crooked streetz

I didn’t have a father to teach me the full game

just a lot of family that wanted to and tried to help me gain

higher self-esteem to look at myself positively

let the feeling of it all being my fault go, so I could breathe

that empty feeling, I had to fix within my soul

I couldn’t understand it left me feeling like this life just continues to take tolls

like love was war and that I needed a man

like I could do nothing on my own, and I needed a helping hand

I went through many trials

trials and tribulations

I almost pressed the dial

I almost couldn’t face it

I didn’t understand why my life was such a hit and miss

but then something clicked it took a while, but I began to predict

had visions of a life that I could see

A life that was designed perfectly for you and me

A life where you won’t have to suffer and then die

A life where dreams come true and all I did was open my eyes

because this life cant really be such a grand chore

as long as you work for what you want, there will always be more

I realized that life is really what you make it

I learned after certain trips

that left me stranded in the Himalayas

I’m still not perfect but trust me when I tell you

I do stay growing cause this life will continue to test you

The alchemy of pain is the knowledge that I gained and how its flourishing

The passion that remains, build it up if the pain has left any stains

because something that is true is that we’re here for a short time so just do you

@nocturnalxo

Love Donations

Donations are appreciated but not necessary. If you would like to donate just know it all goes to future creative pursuits and i appreciate any kind of love! Thank you for reading ❤

$1.00

 

New day

Swallowed by the dark

sometimes it’s hard to remember just who you are

The light can seem so far

but hold on to that shining star

it lives in each and every one of us

look within and the dark will once be an old home of past scars

Tomorrow is a new day

Hold on to that shining light, try to pray

For the darkness is only temporary

and our light may be dimmed but its eternally within

Hope may feel gone

but brighter days are to come ❤

Nocturnalxo

New day kanye west jay z

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