Message to my followers!

Hi! Its me nocturnalxo and im going to let you guys know that this website isnt staying up forever. I plan to close it around December after a year is up. I plan on writing a book that includes poetry and fiction one day hopefully soon! So to keep up with my writings i think you guys should follow me on instagram @nocturnalxo And if you want to contact me my personal email is kcabral91@gmail.com

Thanks for tuning in , its been fun but i have too much talent to keep it on a blog forever! Hope you guys understand ❤

@nocturnalxo

If only

If only i was a healer who could magically heal with my hands

Id take away all your pain

Id even have you get up and dance

If only i was an angel who could have told you it was coming

I would have told you and id make sure it wouldnt become your shortcoming

If only i was a time traveler that could travel to the past

Id cherish those moments, id make them all last

@nocturnalxo

Insomnia

I aint rest

I aint sleep

Im functioning off 2 hours of sleep

Here i am

Now im not

Im traveling through different realms in my mind

The bags under my eyes look real nice to me

The night sky makes me feel so free

Sleeping during the day

Awake during the night

Nocturnal is what i am, i cannot deny

Tried to fight it

Tried to fix it

But here we are, there is no listening

Goodness gracious, here we are again

Its just like i cant get out my head

Darkness comes and takes me whole at night

Oh my

Oh my

Insomnias got my mind

All night

All night

Insomnia

Has got a hold of my mind

@nocturnalxo

Vulnerable

I stay vulnerable

And its noticeable

I Wear my heart on my sleeve

Have my laundry in the streets

Dirty it seems

Give it up for peace

Since it seems to decrease

The never ending shame that used to eat me

So here i am

Transparent as ever and

I wouldnt want it any other way

Because this is my spirit

It came to lift weights

@nocturnalxo

Sometimes

Sometimes

Sometimes i wish you never put hands on me

Sometimes i wish we were really meant to be

Sometimes i wish things went another way

Instead of the way it led us to today

Sometimes i dont care and im fine

Other times the PTSD blows my mind

Sometimes im good and i feel free

Other times i feel locked in the chamber of my reality

Sometimes i hate you and i know thats how its supposed to be

But the hate eats me alive its a never ending cycle of grief

Sometimes i want to betray myself and go back

Until i snap out of the desperation that i have packed

Most times i dont think about you

Most times i know that you were just another fool

Most times i know that its self harm to think about a time when you and me were warm

@nocturnalxo

From Time

I dont know why it weighs on me heavy

Time has passed but i still feel so sweaty

When i think about you

When i think about us

I dont know about you

But i wish there was still an “us”

Deep down

Reconciliation passes through my mind like a halt at a bus stop

i know that our chapter is locked and sealed

Thrown In the past and covered with dirt and grass

But how come when i think of you my heart starts to peel

The core starts to shine

Are you sure you dont think of me from time to time?

If not then fine

I get it i cant be the one with every guy

But you

You left your mark

As the years past i dont think ill ever forget the spark

I want to let this go badly

But my heart says to look back ever so fondly

Its not healthy

So im ending this toxic fantasy

And with doing that

Hopefully i step back into reality

-nocturnalxo

Shallow

When the pool of water doesn’t reach certain depths

We aren’t able to get deep it works like that in life

Shallow streams that play make believe

Illusions of depth makes you drown in dreams

Wave after wave

Graves that we’ve paved

Conclaves that just sway

In the deepest part of the ocean

Where my darkness is buried with my emotions

where the truth is always spoken

And the motion of the ocean leaves no commotion

@nocturnalxo

Stagnant

When the world stops

And our lives are put to a halt

We look around in hopes that quality time tops

The excessive distraught our life has taken in

Unemployment line gets longer

And the debts get stronger

Until we find a way to maintain

Some cope with drugs

Some sustain with love

Until reality kicks

And life continues to take hits

On the ones we love to bits

If you asked me how 2020 would go

I would say “oh, just like a show.”

But i thought more of good times

Instead of fear factor, times 9.

Living in fear

Low vibrational energy is near

But what can we do

When even the country’s leader is about of the crew

I hope better dayz are near

Till then we pray to lose the fear

@nocturnalxo

Like a Cat

Nocturnal like a cat

Im fertile with my raps

A turtle is how i move

Slow and steady with the groove

Still i know that i cant take too long

Life waits for nobody

Same old song

But opportunity knocks on my door

I just have to stack up at the book store

Study study study

Seems lame when you’re young until you get hungry

And then its the only direction

Dont put all your eggs in one basket

Especially if you cant handle rejection

Life gets deep but i can go deeper

You wont see until you get put in that sleeper

@nocturnalxo

Done Dirty

The wind in the air is left sturdy

Breezing through lies that they buried

Only those eyes know the truth

Dont ever let them lie to you

Water blood dirt fire

Doesnt matter they all get higher

From watching you rise and fall

The best thing you can do is call

The last bit of love you have inside

Its a shame it took you this long to find

Whats been buried in plain sight

Even though i don’t mind i

Feel frozen in place

Because for so long i couldn’t relate

Until i really saw

Your soul it left me in awe

Bluff after bluff thats all they seem to recall

Except your eyes always told the truth it was seen in blurry truth

And now you’re left with the blood on your leaves

What can you do everyone is over it, please!

But the encore never seems to stop

They’re just waiting for your fall

Don’t make it hot.

Oh but they see

And they analyze

Always fail to truly see

That you had it but it was hidden underneath

@nocturnalxo

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