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grief nocturnalxo

Memories

now i have just memories of you and me

only pieces of how we used to be

I miss you terribly

And the thought of never seeing you again

It’s fucking with my head

It’s fucking with my heart

Quite frankly its tearing me apart.

You were my rock,

You were my heart

I don’t remember what life was like when we were apart

I dont remember what it was like to not hear you speak or call out my name regularly

For the phone or the remote or even a glass of water

And now without your voice the house just sounds much quieter

I miss you deeply and wish this was all just a dream i wish you didn’t just become a memory because life with out you is harder than it seems

I wish i can see you and wake up from this nightmare but i know you wouldn’t want me to dwell and you would just want me to take care

Want me to cherish the memories that we shared and stay strong for family, try and help them bear.

@nocturnalxo

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Changing The Tone Of My Website

Hey everyone, so for the past year i’ve just been blogging my poetry and i still want to every now and then but i also want to focus more on actual blog posts and short stories. Short stories so that i can work on and eventually perfect my fiction writing craft. So just giving you all an update, i plan on publishing a poetry book soon so look out for that. Thank you all for supporting this regular degular imperfect shorty from the bronx. One love. ❤

-nocturnalxo 😉

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Emma

I see the morning sky and i think of you at times when im lonely and to myself

Memories come to my mind since it hasn’t been much time since you left to paradise

And i cry because i miss you but also because i wish i was with you

And ill be mourning forever because the house has bad weather since you’ve been gone

Silent storms take on new forms to further try to numb my emotions

But no matter how much i cope in ways that should leave me numb im still always back to square one

I dont know what else to say that hasn’t already been said

I miss you and i wish i could see you again

@nocturnalxo

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This Too Shall Pass

Put a brave face on

And act like you’re strong

Even though your lungs would rather scream a song

That conveys all the emotions that sway

And that leaves you feeling disarrayed

Pray that there in fact will be better days

And all this stress will soon wash away

And once be a memory of the time when you were destined to be uncomfortable

So you could mold and grow into the flower that was meant to bloom

This too shall pass.

@nocturnalxo

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Like A Drug

You’re like a drug

Graceful like a dove

Grateful for your love

Addictive to the T

But still you’re good for me

Dont know if it will last

And even if it doesn’t its nice to just bask

In the feeling of us

I hope its not just lust

To let things flow is hard for me

Yet you make it so easy to just be

You’re like a drug

Except it feels like a healthy nug

A breath of fresh air

A light that shines in my despair

You just happen to be so rare.

@nocturnalxo

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Haunted

Im haunted by my thoughts of you

I have no idea what im supposed to do

My memories get vivid and it dilutes me to

Negative thinking and depressive moods

I know that everything is alright

But the flashbacks get vivid especially at night

I know its just my mind

But i wish i knew how to calm it at times.

@nocturnalxo

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If only

If only i was a healer who could magically heal with my hands

Id take away all your pain

Id even have you get up and dance

If only i was an angel who could have told you it was coming

I would have told you and id make sure it wouldnt become your shortcoming

If only i was a time traveler that could travel to the past

Id cherish those moments, id make them all last

@nocturnalxo

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Falls on me

It all falls on me

Just how you said it wouldnt be

Even tho its not entirely

It still all falls on me

Even though you may catch a thing or two

At the end all of that residue

Falls to my emotions and my mental

It all falls on me

@nocturnalxo

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Unconditional Love

From your strongest to your weakest

Ive seen you when you hit your peak and

I dont love you any less

For the time you were down

Thats why i know now

That i know love

From its smiles to its frowns

my love for you never broke in two

And even on the days when you would poke me to

erupt into flames

The love still remains

Family ties hold weight

But even if we weren’t blood related

I know life would still have had us fated

To love one another

What is love?

What is unconditional love?

It is us, it is the upbringing of trust.

@nocturnalxo

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Distractions

Distractions

Truth is i don’t feel well

Sleeping in your bed at night gives me chills

Where are you? Will you ever wake up?

I wish i could hug you and tell you to not let up

When we spoke on the phone you opened your eyes

As if my voice brought you back

Much to my surprise

I cant think too much about it because it ruins my mood

So i distract myself so that i don’t think of you.

@nocturnalxo